RESPOND!

Thousands of Starfish, One Little Boy, and Five Lessons on Responsiveness

Can you respond to them all?

A father took his young son to the beach one morning. The boy, full of excitement, sprinted toward the surf, leaving his father behind. As he neared the water, he suddenly stopped. The father, still far off, couldn’t see why.

Then, the boy began bending down, standing up, and tossing something into the water. Over and over, he repeated the motion. As the father got closer, he saw what was happening—thousands of starfish were stranded on the shore, and the boy was trying to save them, one by one.

The father gently said, “Son, you can’t save them all.”

The boy paused, looked at the starfish in his hand, and replied, “But I can save this one, Dad!” Then, he threw it into the sea and kept going.

Responsiveness is potent. I visited High Point University for an executive leadership experience. HPU’s President, Nido Qubein, has led an incredible turnaround of the ‘almost-dead’ university to one of the premier private colleges in the country. He instituted a university standard that all emails had to be replied to by 5 p.m. and it shaped the culture of the entire place. You don’t have to solve every problem—but your willingness to respond can inspire others to act. Dr. Michael Lindsay, president of Taylor University, said, “The leader carries the accumulated grievance against the institution.” I have found amidst that reality, response time is a key ingredient. It can solve or inflame problems. As Dan and Chip Heath put it, “Nonresponsiveness is a corrosive agent in a relationship.”

Great leaders create a ripple effect through their responses to the people around them. Yes, it’s hard to keep up. Problems are complex, time is limited, and leaders are stretched thin. Still—responding is non-negotiable. Here are five ways to respond like a leader who inspires action:

1. Stand Up

When someone brings you a problem you can solve—literally stand up. Go talk with them face-to-face. It shows urgency, partnership, and care.

2. Offer a Realistic Timeline

Can’t respond right away? That’s okay. Just be clear about when you will. Promise slightly more time than you think you’ll need—and always follow through.

3. Say, “No, I Can’t”—With Clarity and Kindness

Not every request is doable. Don’t dodge hard truths. Say no with clarity and kindness. Often, a clear “no” can empower someone to find their own solution.

4. Set the Tone for Responsiveness

Your responsiveness sets the tone, even if you don’t have the answer. When appropriate, include others in your response. They will pick up what you're putting down, and it may lead to the final suggestion…

5. Connect the Problem to a Solver

You don’t need to have all the answers—but you should know where to find them. As a leader, you have access to problem solvers that others don’t. Refer team members to people who can help more quickly and effectively than you can.

Final Thought

You may not be able to save every starfish. But when you respond intentionally, you empower others to start saving starfish too. That’s what real leadership looks like.

About Learning and Leading
Hi, I’m Chris Hobbs, and I write Learning and Leading. It is simply a blog where I share what I’m learning while leading. In the words of CS Lewis, though, ‘My descriptions of my thoughts may make others believe I have been there.’ I’ve spent over 25 years in school leadership, and I’ve been fortunate to earn several degrees and receive recognition in the spheres of educational leadership and athletic coaching. Yet, for everything I get right, there are dozens of areas I’m still figuring out how to get right.

I’m married to my high school sweetheart, and we’re the proud parents of three incredible young adults. Faith in Jesus Christ is my foundation, yet I am far from perfect. Life is often messy and complicated, but I believe it’s still worth leading with clarity and hope.

You can find me on X or LinkedIn, where I share daily thoughts that (hopefully) inspire and make you laugh.